No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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