I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
