No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
