1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
if only i could text you this smell
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
