mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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