Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
