Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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