your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
