By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
