We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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