Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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