note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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