So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
this just has baby written all over it
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
