dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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