Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
