I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
