Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
