he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
