We're facebook friends in real life
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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