I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
