One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
