Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
