Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
