I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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