I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize