i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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