The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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