My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
