Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
