she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
