Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
