you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
