So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
