is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
