I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
