these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
