I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize