Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize