it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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