How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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