Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
