I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
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