i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
