I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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