I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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