Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
