STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
