so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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