I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
