don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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