YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
