He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
