i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just had sex on a roof
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
