Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Everclear isn't food dammit
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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