oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
your room smells of hookers.
And success
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
