and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
