take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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