Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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