i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Let's paint friendship bongs
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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