whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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