o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
