he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
