dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You made out with two different species that night
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You can't just leave with hair like that
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
