I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
