There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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