Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
