oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
