No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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