I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
