And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
