Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
We're too hungover to prance.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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