So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
How's work?
Spinning.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
